When are you moving home?

 One of the most frequent questions we got this time on furlough is, "When are you moving home?"

  Hopefully, we didn't offend anyone in our responses to this question. We got a bit weary of it because we don't know. We don't have any good answers to tell people. I'm going to be very honest about our feelings and hopefully you can understand where I'm coming from on this question.

  One of the main concerns people talked about is our children. Do they like it in Ghana? Each of them has a part of them that wants to be in the US with family and friends and live the American dream. But each of them also loves Ghana. Both boys have lived in Ghana longer then in the US. They are more comfortable in their slippers (any sort of flip flop or sandal) then in shoes. And actually love best when their feet are stained reddish brown with African dirt. The point is, this is their home. Austin told me one day, We should move back to the US but then come to Ghana on furlough. His attitude very much is, he wants to move to the US and drive tractors and go hunting, but he also wants to be able to come back and play soccer with his native friends. Brent agrees that tractors and cousins would be a lot of fun. He wants to move back. But he was the most excited as we packed up to go back to Ghana when we were on furlough. He was so relieved to be back home and play in the ocean waves the day after we got back. He came and told me, " I want to live at the beach forever!" And then there is Kelsey. At 8 years old, Kelsey dived into mission life head first. We spent a lot of time teaching her how to relate to the natives that first year. How to be polite but not overly friendly with men and boys. How to stop and greet people respectfully. And she made friends everywhere she went. I listened to her having a conversation in Fante with a child yesterday and was amazed again at how well she knows the language. She is just starting to say, "Maybe I will be ready to move back at some point.", but she is saving her money for a ticket to Ghana to visit. Sometimes when people say, maybe you should ask your children how long you should stay in Ghana, I grin. That could be quite the process to figure their answer out! But it also makes me wonder, do people see something we don't in our children? Are they lacking? Socially miss-fit? 

  So will our children be a reason we move back to the US? Yes! We don't feel at peace about raising teens here, but we aren't saying God couldn't change our hearts about that. We are very aware that our children are God's gift entrusted to us and we need to care for them first and foremost.

  The other thing people say or elude to is, Soon your time will be up and you can come home. They might be right. Maybe soon God will reveal that it's time to go back to the US. But this isn't an endurance test for us. This isn't about making it through our term. We truly love Ghana and our life here. Yes we shed tears when it's hard. We miss our loved ones. We miss going to church and being fed every Sunday instead of doing the feeding. But in spite of all that, we enjoy the people, the lush green foliage, and even the heat. And most of all we enjoy seeing God at work. We enjoy the peace He gives us, even in the hard times. Because we are where He wants us to be. 

  So is the end of our term a reason we will move home? Is surviving until then, counting down the days, and then going back to "normal" life what we are doing and planning to do? No and no!

 Maybe some people feel like we aren't being fair to our families. It isn't right to deny grandparents the joy of being grandparents. And this is one place I have no answer. I know it isn't fair. It isn't fair to cousins to take their playmates away. And sometimes I wonder, do people feel that way about a family that moves to another state? Even just a different community? If we would move back to the US but move several hours away from our families, would I still carry this guilt? Maybe I have a wrong mindset about this one. Maybe this one is more in my head and not so much what other people are actually thinking. (And don't read between the lines here, we don't have a plan to move several hours away from our family.)

  But again, God called us here. He knew our families were going to be sad to see us go. He knew we would be homesick. But He wanted us here anyway. "It's for my good and for His glory!" Always for His glory!

  Some people say, well you have put your time in, now it is another person's turn. Maybe, but where is that other person.? We are currently filling two positions because no one can be found for the one. We just talked to another missionary. Their mission will be down to two families this summer if nothing changes. Three families have left or are leaving and so far they have no one to step in and take their place. His words were, " Not everyone is called, but more are called then come." Our hearts grieve with the realization that some day we too might need to leave and there will be no one to take our place. The work we labored over may die out. We often look at our programs and people we are involved with and say, What would happen if the missionaries left? How could we make this self sustainable? Who of the natives can we teach to carry the work forward? How can they support themselves and not depend on the mission for an income? And all of these are good goals to work towards. It just sad that the reason we need to work towards it is, missions everywhere are hurting and needing staff. Has the church come to a point it can't support missions with anymore? Financially they can, but not with personnel? Are we now unwilling to make the sacrifices of financial gain and worldly comforts so the gospel can be spread? Or.... are there now so many opportunities and outlets to help people that everyone is already busy in their corner and there aren't enough people to reach around? Is everyone reaching out to the people around them and serving the lost in their communities, they are doing exactly what God told us to do? 

  Maybe someday soon we will get the news that the one position we have been covering is going to be covered by someone else. Maybe we will be replaced in both positions at the same time. And that will be our answer that it is another person's turn. 

  I could keep going but the bottom line is this; we don't know. We don't know what the future holds and what God will ask us to do in the future. We know God called us. We know our children are getting older. We know our family and friends would be happy to have us back. We know there are parts of American life we would really enjoy. We know we aren't doing the normal, serve a term and come home again. And we know it is hard for people to wrap their minds around. It is hard for me to wrap my mind around as well. Many are the times I say "God why can't You just let us be normal?" But Kenny often asks me, Is that what you really want? And I say, YES! But... I also know I want to be in the center of God's will. His journey is one I wouldn't trade anything for. 

  I spent a long time writing this and then waited weeks to post it. I am not here to make anyone feel guilty. I don't feel like people who don't serve on the mission field are self centered. Some of the most giving people I know do so in their own communities. These are just the realities of mission life right now, The laborers are few.