Where is Home?

The day after we arrived in Ghana, we went to our favorite spot at the beach. This storm was beautiful to watch roll in across the ocean.

 There are questions that we get asked on furlough that make us think about things we would other wise just do naturally and not really take time to look at what is behind our actions and thoughts. And for that reason I like these questions. But they can also be difficult to answer. And for that reason I don't like them. I'm hoping to address several of them over the next weeks just to help me think through them and also help people understand mission life just a bit more. 

 One of the questions is, Where is home? What does it feel like to go from one place to the other? 

                               

 As a child, did you ever go to the same cabin for a weekend every summer? Did you ever go to an out of state uncle and aunt or grandparent to visit every once in a while? Then you know a little how it feels to go to the US for a visit. The house is familiar. A new rug here, maybe some new paint there, but for the most part, it feels familiar. Maybe there are new plants, and small trees have grown big, but mostly it stayed the same. The people have grown older. But especially if they are family or close friends, they love you the same every time you are together. You catch up on each other's lives, make precious memories together, playing games, singing around campfires, and of course eating food. But after several days, you are ready to go home. It's not like you don't love them. It's not that you didn't enjoy your time together. But you need to go home. Back to your responsibilities, you work, your own life. 

 When we fly to the US we are excited. We miss our loved ones when we don't get to see them for over a year. We hug and laugh and say it's so good to be here! One of my special things is eating meals at both our parent's tables. It just feels so good to sit with our parents and know that this is our roots. This is where we come from and where we can always come back to. I also love sitting in the circle of my friends. These women knew me when I was a teenager. They know my siblings and my parents. They were there the day I got married, they came to see my new babies, they comforted me when I grieved over a baby we never got to know. We sit in church and soak in messages. People have changed since we left. Teens are now married. There are a few more with gray hair and there are new babies. But there is always the welcome back into the fold. There are people who message just to say they are praying. There are those special ones who call and send weekly messages just to keep us connected. We linger after church and reconnect. We fit as many as possible into our schedule to sit with and catch up with.

                           

 Another big part of furlough is stepping back from our responsibilities on the mission field and taking a deep breath. We can relax and not have to worry about planning and leading out. We can show up late and leave early if we want to. We go to church and enjoy sitting in the back and not needing to make sure the clock has batteries and there is toilet paper there. We shift gears and do what we want to instead of what we have to. 

 People ask if we get to relax and if we feel refreshed when we go back. Well that depends on how you look at it. We usually run hard and have been known to eat three meals a day and catch up with a different family or person over each meal. But those people pour into our lives. We sleep late some mornings but we go to bed late almost every night. Occasionally we catch naps so we can keep up with life. We rarely do physical labor but our minds get so tired from all the people we see and all the information we hear. But those are also the things we look back on and hold close to our hearts for the next months when we feel home sick. 

Little fish drying on the rocks.

 What a lot of people don't think about is how we are like fish out of water in the US. We have to remember which language to use. Even though we are far from knowing the local language, I was reminded how much we do use it in our day to day lives. So often thank you wanted to slip out in the wrong language. Kenny scared a perfect stranger by greeting her like he knew her. He wasn't trying to be weird, he was just saying hi like we always do in Ghana. After being at church in the US for several Sundays, I still had to check myself before a hearty Amen slipped out at the end of the ministers prayer. Our children are fascinated by odd things, like free refills at restaurants, colorful fall leaves, and Amish women wearing high heels. In Ghana they stick close to my side but in the US no one tries to feel their hair or pinch their white skin so they roam freely in public places and need constant reminders that when we are in stores they need to be where I can see them at all times. Grocery stores tend to be overwhelming to all of us. So many choices when you want to grab a gallon of milk. We buy things we wouldn't normally just because it sounds cheep. Our brains forget that what costs $1 in US is 12 Cedi in Ghana. Buying anything for 1 is a bargain in our minds! 

  Before long its time to say good bye. Our hearts long to stay in those precious family circles. I'm not a person that cries easily but I shed tears inside as I give my family hugs good bye. We linger at peoples doors, wishing we could pretend we will be back next week, next month. Sometimes we leave quickly because we want to ignore the fact that we won't be back for awhile. The past year has taught us how much can happen to a family in a year, babies are born but don't stay till we get to meet them. Ministers are made. Family grieves and laughs while we are away. We are so thankful that no matter what happens while we are gone they open their arms and doors when we return. 

  At the same time our minds turn toward Ghana and we get excited about seeing our friends there. We look forward to the heat and the smells and sounds of home. The night we said good-bye to the Zeiset family, we were on our way to our rental house and Austin said, "If only it wouldn't get cold in America. Then I would want to move here." Kelsey said, "If only we could move our family and friends to Ghana." And I realized with a sigh, no matter where we are, a part of us will be at the other place. No matter where we live, we will wish we could see loved ones. Only in heaven do we have the hope of being happy in one place. So only then will we truly be home!