Ramblings

 It is said missionaries burn out because there are more needs around them than they will ever meet. But there is another side to that. I think the main reason is because the needs are so complex. They don't need a handout, they need mentoring and teaching. When someone wants money for a medical need, to be effective, you need to take them to the hospital, help them through the process, and follow up with them.

  There are many examples of this. There are three specific young men (14 to 17 years old) that I am thinking of. None of them have fathers being fathers. All of them live with their mothers who struggle to make ends meet and pay school fees. Some of them, the church helps with that. The youngest one doesn't attend school even though his great uncle pays his way. All three of them need food and clothing (to one extent or another) which we could give easily enough. And to be fair, if any of them was actually starving or sick, we would help. But at their age they also start asking for things like phones, speakers, bikes, and their list goes on. They are at the age , their wants take over their needs. As easy as it would be to pay their school fees, buy them new clothes and shoes, give their family a food box every week, would that be helping?

  These boys need a dad! They need to be taught to work, and all three of them should be learning responsibility and how to help their mothers instead of being a burden to her. Before and after school they should be "hustling" to make a small amount of money. It isn't easy to get good jobs in Ghana for boys this age, but if they are willing to really work for it, there is a surprising amount of opportunities. One example of this is the boy that came to cut our grass the other Saturday.  His first preference was to be given a ride by us, but Kenny was busy at the shop, and I was busy at home. He could have walked. Many people do. But, he took taxi. And expected us to pay for it. He had nothing else to do that day. So time wasn't an issue. But he felt the need to take the easy way, rather than save his money and walk. So is he serious about earning money? For all three of these boys, money could solve all their immediate needs but it would be setting them up for failure in the real world. 

  I have a friend who works for me occasionally. I could hire her more and not do any cleaning, cooking or washing. It would pay her needs and make my life easier. She called me the other day. "I am feeling sick because you aren't giving me work!" My house was far from clean. I felt like I have a long list of things to do. But is hiring her the best thing to do?

  Now let me clarify one thing here. I have my regular wash lady. She does laundry twice a week and if I am feeling behind, sweeps, mops floors and even washes dishes. But there is another side to the second woman. Occasionally I have enough work for her. But if I hire her just to give her a job, I am hurting two people. I am hurting myself and my children because I am allowing her to be a servant instead of a needed helping hand. I am telling my daughter it is ok to pass off the work we don't care for to other people, instead of teaching her the satisfaction of a job well done, even if we hated the job. Kenny has had a very strict rule for himself at the shop and I try to follow it as well. Never ask someone to do something for you, that you wouldn't be willing to do yourself. And also, we are here to serve, not be served. It is difficult because labor is cheap and they are so willing to treat you like a queen. But when I see Kelsey cooking, cleaning, and sewing, and enjoying it. I know the effort is paying off. There have been tears, tantrums, and frustrations, but it is so worth it now. I would also be hurting the native woman. Because she would come to depend on me as a source of income. And when I leave... what would she do? Every time I hire her, I am being her crutch and allowing her to not search for a job like she would other wise. Right now we are in the midst of a test with this woman. I came across a good job, perfect for her. I told her about it, even offered to go with her to see the woman she would work for, since I know her a little. I called her again and asked when we should go. She had three excuses for three days. So now I am waiting. If she calls me and says, Can we go? I will go. But if she calls and says, I want to come work for you, I will say no. You have used me as easy money for too long. She needs the teaching, more than the money. I just pray this test doesn't cost me the friendship.

  And the lists go on and on. People with needs. But complicated needs when you really look at them. We have to treat the root problem, not the surface one. And so even though most of these people would say yes, if you asked them if they are a Christian (and we aren't going to begin judging them) we can see they need teaching in their Christian walk.

  It is easy to get discouraged when you face complicated problems every day. But there are bright spots as well. A young man I don't know was on his way home from school one afternoon as I was leaving the house. He turned and came running back to open the gate for me and shut it again so I didn't need to get in and out of my vehicle. And then with a wave continued on his way. I think the reason it was such a bright spot in my day was, I didn't ask him to do it, and he didn't ask anything in return. It was just an act of kindness given freely! 

  The other afternoon I walked to the shop and a sweet little girl (that I know slightly) asked if I was going that way. She was going that way too and walked with us. She has very little English so we hardly talked at all. She ran ahead with Brent and he actually enjoyed himself since she didn't try touching or pinching him. When we got close to her house, she gave me a shy smile and a wave and went on her way. Again, no obligations. No requests. Just a sweet little girl to enjoy the walk with.

  And I think that sums up burnout for us. It is when everyone you come in contact with, has an ulterior motive. They are all out to see what they can get in one way or another from you. Even most friendships come with a price tag. When they are sick, because you have been their friend, they will be calling you!

  Now don't get me wrong. God called us here. And He called us to serve. He gave selflessly, and so must we. And because of His love and His message, we can get up and continue on every day. There are just days it is a lot easier than others.

This picture is special to me because it was on the way home after a difficult day and a conversation with a very troubled friend. I suddenly realized that she and I face the same uncertainty of the future, the same trials, and the same heart aches. And even though she prays and I pray. I have a different hope and trust than she does. She becomes frantic, and as I looked at this sunset, I said yes! I do have peace. The creator of that sunset, is my creator. So I can rest in peace.